Celebrating Father’s Day: What Went Wrong for the 21st Century Dads?

Today, the world celebrates our beloved fathers’ heroic contribution towards our earthly existence and upbringing. We ought to reflect on the hardships that a modern father faces in keeping up with his traditional role in the challenging 21st century.I have no idea why Fathers’ Day isn’t so popular as Mothers’ Day but the majority of us get surprised upon hearing that today is Father’s Day! But let’s not ignore the fact that fathers play an equal role in the existence of a solid and united family. Though they’ve been characterized as being bold, tough and uneasy, fathers ought to be treated with special care and love like we do for our mothers.

The majority of today’s fathers are very far from being dads. There is a big difference between a father and a dad. According to Dadtography, a dad is someone that is there for his children. A dad watches and actively participates in his children’s lives. A dad helps them grow up, raises them and nurtures them. On the other hand, it defines a father as someone who contributes to the biological components necessary to produce a child. So in a common sense, a man becomes a father by just impregnating a woman who later bears a child. But being a father doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a dad, it takes something extraordinary!

The above distinction provokes us to ponder over the ever increasing cases of fathers abandoning their families, mistreating their children, wives, and many other issues. To me, it seems like it would have made sense to rename this day as “Dads’ Day” because according to the above dissimilarity, Dads play a more sensible role than fathers. Everyone can become a father but according to the current trends, not everyone has the guts to become a Dad. Reaching the level of a dad would require a lot of self-sacrifices and this involves putting your family ahead of you. It is more of being a night and day watchman where you have to tirelessly keep a close watch over your family to ensure that their physical, moral and emotional needs are met.

A loving dad will prioritize his family’s wellbeing and guarantee that everyone is healthy, well fed, happy and contented. But what I read in the news has really diminished the godly expectations of a true father. Sometimes I ask myself; ‘Why do men rush to become fathers yet the majority of them can’t carry out their fatherly duties?’ Like, ‘Why did you bring to earth a life that you are unable to sustain? It’s like buying a car, you spent lots of money on buying the best one but after buying it, you don’t care for it, you abandon it! It doesn’t matter under which circumstances the child was born, you should have been aware of what’s needed to sustain (the child) you are looking for in a woman before you actually had sex with her!


Remember, children are a natural gift from God. They are our source of pride and happiness in a family. A true father would never abandon such a wonderful treasure despite the poverty. You don’t need to be rich to become a successful father/dad, just learn the basics like having time for your children, playing with them, teaching them, sharing your love and happiness with them, and they’ll always look up to you as a role model.

The ignorance of fathers for this fact is the leading cause of the heart-breaking suffering we’re witnessing in the world today! Street children who have made drainages their homes, malnourished children who only dream of nice food, kids abandoned in empty homes, on buses, in public parks, mistreated children and others subjected to child labour. Such trends have given rise to crimes committed by these unfortunate kids who resort to become gangsters, drug smugglers, alcohol-addicts, rapists, burglars, etc. Why? This is because their fathers didn’t do their role of becoming dads to them.

But before throwing all blame to fathers for coming short of their fatherly duties, we would do well to consider the circumstances that have led to this. There are many factors as to why fathers fall short of their expectations and this is what I have been observing as per the news reports: The struggles of a modern world require a 24/7 working father who has to be away from his family, some men after impregnating a woman they fear facing the reality of looking after both the woman and the baby. Still, others due to their uncontrollable sexual urges, they resort to raping women and end up making them pregnant.

Furthermore, some fathers are so greedy. They don’t want to sacrifice a portion of their money, love and time to share them with their families. You may find that a woman and her kids have only one meal a day or nothing to eat but the father never lacks what to eat out there. Modern fathers have also been subdued by the ever-advancing technological age. Instead of showing love and care to their children, fathers are busy playing games, gossiping on social media or simply watching TV.

Another reason is that men are naturally never sexually satisfied! That is a fact because nowadays it is rare to find a committed man who sticks entirely to the mother of his kids. After impregnating one woman, he will hop on to another one. This will entice him into abandoning the first woman and her children while hankering with other women.

Sometimes mothers also contribute to this. There are women with myriads of personal demands from their men, this will scare off fathers because of their inability or unwillingness to cede to every demand from their women, some of these demands do not even make sense. When a man is scared by the incessant and selfish demands of a woman, he will abandon her and the children and this will mark the start of suffering for the poor kids. Women too have abandoned their parental role of caring for the moral and physical needs of their children and instead, they delegate the motherly duties under the care of their inexperienced housemaids who have no biological attachment to the children. Children too are traumatized after their parents’ divorce because they won’t enjoy the mutual support and care from both parents.


Despite all these disappointing trends, a modern father can become a responsible dad in a variety of ways. A responsible Dad will always be a source of inspiration and pride to his children. They will grow up to emulate him and keep walking in his steps. A reasonable Dad earns huge respect from the community and his children go on to become influential personalities of the society. Children of a responsible dad will never lack what to eat, what to wear, what to learn, where to sleep, and how to find happiness. Whereas there are millions of unfortunate people like me who never enjoyed fatherly love, we can take comfort from God who is the caring and loving father of all orphans.

So please, do not be led astray or be blinded by the temporary world desires that are in fact unsatisfying. All those side pleasures you’re seeking for are indeed mere vanity, like chasing after the wind. You may enjoy the temporary sex with other women who will make you abandon your family but still, you will never be satisfied. You spend a lot of time working hard but still, you’ll never be convinced. Invest in your children today, devote your money, time, love and happiness towards them and by doing this, you’re sowing seeds of your continued existence even after you die. Be a responsible father and reach out for greatness by becoming a successful dad. It all starts with YOU!

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that’s why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right. – Wade Boggs

He is a father to the fatherless and an advocate for widows. God rules from his holy palace.- Psalms 68:5


2 Comments Add yours

  1. shalua says:

    This is a gd one

    Liked by 1 person

    1. erjnr says:

      Thank you Shalua for reading…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s